The holidays can definitely be a stressful, depressing time of the year, especially when you have lost a loved one. The reality of my mom’s death is an always present ‘entity,’ with the magnitude of grief ready to erupt at any time.
There’s this ‘loss’ that is so huge sometimes, that it feels overwhelming to take the next breath, let alone get through the day. While the grief can be consuming, I’m also very aware of the blessings that I have, here, surrounding me.
Family
My husband and my kids are my center.
The kids are smart, kind human beings that seem to be enjoying life. They are the types of kiddos that will stand up for themselves, as well as others. While there are times they make me want to pull my hair out, they are also supportive and loving. All three are hard workers and are becoming more and more independent each day.
I couldn’t be prouder of them.
Brian is my rock. He is always there to help cart kids to practices and/or games. He helps with keeping our family functioning – from scheduling doctor’s appointments to making sure there’s wood for the wood burner. After 20 years together, my heart still does the ‘pitter-patter’ thing when I see him after work. He takes my worries away.
We are lucky to have him.
My dad and my siblings are still talking with each other and supporting each of our hopes/dreams. It has been hard to navigate life after Mom’s death, but it has helped that we have each other. There’s a comfort in continuing with some of our traditions, even as we let others go. I’m grateful to have my family close to me.
When I count my blessings, I also always include my in-laws. They are absolutely incredible. My mother-in-law and father-in-law can often be found at their grandchildren’s sporting events. They are both the type of individuals that you know you can count on.
To put it simply, I love them as if I’ve known them forever.
Work & Home
I work in a supportive environment, teaching amazing children. I enjoy working with the students and watching them grow. There are times when I know that I will soon be ready to leave teaching and hopefully have more time to write, however I still know that I’m lucky to have a good, stable job.
A house is a house, but a home is built by love. Brian and I were able to buy my childhood home that my parents built when I was a toddler. Memories surround me daily, both old and new. A home would be made wherever Brian, the kids, and I live, however I’m so happy that we were able to find our way back to my childhood home.
Health
I watch the news. I read articles. There’s so much death and horrible stuff in the world. Articles about cancer always seem to pop up on my news feed.
One of my biggest fears is that something will happen to Brian or the kids. I realize you can’t live dreading the unthinkable to happen, however it seems to be a constant on my mind.
Overall, at the moment, everyone is healthy and doing well.
There’s a lot to be thankful for this holiday season.
Goals for Today:
- Watch Keegan’s Basketball Scrimmages
- Do Some Yard Work
- Bake an Apple Pie