My mom passed away in October of 2020. You would think that the grief would be easier to deal with since it has been almost 3 years now, but it’s not. She was my best friend and I think of her each and every day.
There are endless amazing memories to write about, but today I was thinking about how she loved going to sporting events for her grandkids. She didn’t always know quite what was going on depending on the sport (she said she could never find where the ball was), but she was always there, sitting in the bleachers with popcorn from the concession stand. She spent tons of hours at baseball diamonds, football stands, and at bleachers watching basketball.
Here is one of my favorite pictures of my mom and daughter. It was taken about 7 years ago:
4/28/56 – 10/10/2020
This picture was taken in a high school gym. Mom had taken my daughter to use the restroom during halftime.
Living Through the Grief
It sounds like such a clich’e, but some memories feel like they just happened yesterday, while other times it feels like it has been ages since I’ve been able to call her up on the phone or just go and see her and give her a big hug.
My hope is that she would be proud of me and the rest of the family. Hopefully she’d be happy with choices we have made since her passing and just that we are trying to survive through the struggles of losing our glue – the ‘heart’ of the family.
I guess my biggest regret I have is that I didn’t have my first children’s chapter book published before she passed away. She was able to read the manuscript, and I know she was proud of it – she showed it off to everyone, but I wish she could have had an actual copy of the published product.
I talk to her often. I’m not sure if that’s normal or not, but it is what it is. Sometimes it feels like she’s right there beside me, either scolding or praising me depending on what I’m doing at the time.
Her memory and the love that she gave me over the years is what helps me continue to strive towards my dreams. When I have those rough days, and I’m not sure if I can continue to work towards my goals, I just need to think of her and the endless strength that she possessed and know that all things are possible.