A couple of weeks ago, our small-town community had a football coach unexpectedly pass away from a complication that occurred during a routine leg surgery.
This past Monday, our school staff arrived at work to learn that one of our young middle school teachers was in a car accident over the weekend and didn’t make it.
So often you hear people talk about how ‘you just never know’ what’s going to happen, or how much time you have with a loved one.
There are an infinite amount of people much wiser than myself, however I decided to write a blog post giving my four top pieces of advice about life that I share with my children.
1. Eat Dessert Before the Meal
I am sure that loads of articles and blog posts can be found that discuss the importance of work before play and how important it is to put valuable time and effort into a project. I agree with that philosophy, to an extent.
There are still going to be times when you should do the fun thing, before the obligation.
All of us could save more money, put off the vacation to the Caribbean until we have a little more in the bank, or another bill paid, but sometimes (keyword is sometimes) we need to not stress so much about doing what is considered ‘right.’ (Side note: We don’t want to be broke like Jayden. We still need to work and pay our bills.)
Deathbed confessions are not overflowing with people that wished they would have spent more time working. If anything, it’s more than likely the opposite.
Now, if you are taking the heading to this section literally and assuming I was mostly talking about actually eating your piece of cake before the chicken and broccoli, well that fits as well. There’s no reason not to just go for it.
I waited tables on and off for almost 10 years. Occasionally customers would come in and order a slice of pie before their meal. My eyes would about pop right out of my head. I had never heard of such decadence before.
“Pie? You want your pie to come out first?” I’d ask.
“Absolutely,” the customer would reply. “The sooner the better.”
“I guess I can check in the back. We probably can make that work.” I’d return to the kitchen, shaking my head in disbelief.
This was new and unchartered territory for me at the time. If I could, my old self would go back and tell my young self to lighten up a little.
Figuratively or literally, either way it works.
2. Say What Needs to be Said – No Regrets
We knew Mom was sick with cancer before she passed away. I’ve gone back and forth wondering if the knowing that her time was short made things more difficult or easier with everything.
I still don’t know the answer to that. I do know that the husband of the teacher that recently passed away probably wishes he could tell one more time how much he loves her, or what she meant to him.
After Mom had the cancer diagnosis, I started to become more pointed in my actions and words with her. Basically, I said the words that didn’t necessarily come natural to me. I took the time to listen and value the moments that we had together. It’s important.
I make a point to embarrass my own children with saying “I love you” all the time and giving endless hugs and smooches. I want it be a thing that is just how it is and not something weird. They will sometimes pull away, but there are other times they will seek me out to give me the hug first, or the kiss first. It’s important.
I think this piece of advice also pertains to saying something difficult to someone that they may or may not want to hear.
Say what needs to be said. Lay it all out on the table, so to speak.
3. Help Others When You Can
Kindness.
When I think about my hopes and dreams for my children, one of my top aspirations is that they are kind to others.
Kindness doesn’t cost anything at all. We can still be strict, yet kind as parents, the same way teachers can be strict, yet kind.
I wish people were more mindful of others’ feelings and needs.
It’s such a simple thing, but can sometimes be a character trait that is difficult to find in others.
Now saying this doesn’t mean that I think people should never say ‘no’ when asked to do something. I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t always agree to be the person to help others out, whether it’s a family situation or something at work.
Sometimes you have to say ‘no’ to others, but that’s a blogpost for a different time.
4. Chase Your Dreams
Dreams are worth fighting for. They are worth the work, the tears, the long hours, sleepless nights, and every sacrifice you make to work on turning those dreams into a reality. At least, they should be.
It is one of my biggest hopes that all three of my children work towards their own goals in life. Failure will be a port of this process, and I hope they don’t give up at the first signs of hardship. Let me correct this. I know they won’t give up as they meet obstacle after obstacle because they will have been taught that hard work pays off. We don’t give up.
I’m chasing my own dreams. I hope that one day I can walk into a major retail store and see one of my books sitting in the book section. It is beyond my scope to be able to put into words how that would make me feel.
Instead of just daydreaming about it, I need to put in the work.
Songwriters Ben Stennis and Matt Rogers wrote a song called, ‘Til You Can’t. The artist that sings the song is Cody Johnson.
In the lyrics, it says:
If you got a chance, take it, take it while you got a chance
If you got a dream, chase it, ’cause a dream won’t chase you back
I have this quote next to me at my writing desk. It’s a reminder that no one is going to do the work for me. I can’t give up because of a fear of failure. Sometimes we have to bare our own hearts and take chances, no matter how vulnerable it makes us.
I’m not sure there’s a bigger life lesson than that.
Goals for Today:
- Cook Dinner with Khloe
- Play Basketball with Keegan
- Hang-out with Kaleb