College has been on my mind lately. I think it’s because Keegan, one of my 15 year old twins, has been contemplating attending a community college program through our local high school. The program would have given him a jump start on an Associate’s, without the financial cost, but he ultimately would have had to forego three hours per day of high school life for his Junior and Senior year.
He decided against the program, and I’m glad, but it started me thinking about the eventuality of the boys going off to college, which in turn, reminded me of my own experiences with my first year at Michigan Tech University.
A Long Ways From Home
When I set off for Michigan Tech at the end of the summer in ’95, my parents and I knew it was going to be a long car ride to college. In total, it took about 9 hours to arrive in the parking lot of Wadsworth Hall in Houghton, Michigan. (I wrote a blog post about ‘Move-In Day’ when I first left for Tech. If you’d like to read it, you can find it here.)
I grew up in a small, rural town south of Lansing, Michigan. We lived in a community where everyone knew everyone else, pretty much. Some of my high school teachers had taught my parents when they were in school. I was fairly sheltered in my upbringing, however my mom had always pushed her children to experience life out of our small hometown. I had taken a senior trip to France with my teacher and a few girls from our French class. We had also done multiple family trips to Chicago, Detroit, Canada, etc… Despite these experiences, my small rural community was really the only thing I had known.
Needless to say, leaving home after just turning 18 to begin college life was exciting, and a little nerve-wracking, at the same time.
Finding a Job
That first week at college, before classes actually began, was spent orienting myself to campus, as well as breaking down and searching for a job.
Somewhere around the age of 15, it had been hammered into me that, if you wanted spending money and you were going to have a car, you needed to have a job. I had a car, and didn’t want to be completely broke, so I knew I needed to be working somewhere.
It didn’t take long and I decided upon applying in my dorm’s dining commons. (To be honest, the word ‘applying’ sounds silly in this instance. They were basically taking anyone with a heartbeat.)
I settled upon this option for a couple of reasons:
- Convenience – I wanted something close where I didn’t have to drive in the ice and snowy weather
- Food Service – I had worked as a waitress since before I could drive so I knew a lot about how a kitchen/food service environment worked
It turned out to be a good decision that I was happy with for my entire time away at college.
Learning to Loosen Up
It pains me to say this, but I was somewhat of a nerd/Goody Two Shoes growing up. I was a rule follower, Teacher’s Pet, and a straight A student, that never got into any trouble.
This didn’t change with the transition from high school to college.
I remember one day calling Mom from my dorm room to see if I could go out on a date that night. I wasn’t going to be back in until after 10:00 PM, so I figured I should get permission.
I’ll never forget Mom’s response: “Ashley, you are over 500 miles away. You can go out if you want to go out. Go have some fun.”
I have been trying to find my ‘Rebel’ side since then, without a lot of luck.
I think it skipped a generation.
Remembering Mom’s Daily Phone Calls
Losing Mom to cancer 3 1/2 years ago was beyond painful. She was my best friend in my adult life, and that was the same during my college years.
Mom would call me daily, or I would call her. Either way, we spent hours on the phone talking.
Typically during those Tech years, the conversation revolved around classes and how much snow we had in Houghton. I remember telling her once that I had drove past the local baseball field and you could barely see the top of the fence because the snow was so high.
Looking back on some of those phone calls, I now know that she was itching for ‘exciting college-life’ information. She wanted me to go out and go to a Frat party, or give her some info about my classes. She was looking for stories about attending hockey games, or flirting with the boy in my English Lit class. (I once went to a Toga party where cases of beer were being passed downstairs through a trapdoor in the porch. I’m hoping that story gave her some chuckles.)
Mom was living a piece of college life through those phone calls. I didn’t realize that fully at the time. I regret that now. Our conversations could have been lengthier, my account of college life could have included more details.
Hopefully she was proud of me, happy for the experiences I was having, and grateful she didn’t have to worry too much about me becoming corrupt or taken advantage of.
(I never did tell her about the ‘haze’ and the odd smell coming from the 4th floor of the dormitory. I didn’t understand that until years later and Brian informed me of what that smell was during our first trip to Vegas.)
My Hope for My Own Kids
My hope for my three children is that they are able to experience college life, wherever that may be. I realize that there’s been a shift in mindset recently, with the idea that success does not equate to attending college. The concept absolutely makes sense, it truly does, however, it’s not just about the degree being worth the expense as far as salary and money spent attending a University.
It’s about having those experiences that only come around once in a lifetime.
There’s a safety net factor where a college student is learning independence, while still not having to fully participate in adult-life choices and adult-life bills.
Let’s be honest, here. I also want the boys to try and play some type of college sports, if that’s what they would still like to do. I don’t want them to give up that dream, thinking it’s not obtainable because they are not 6’4″.
Both boys have always talked about trying to play something after high school, even if it’s for a D3 school. If it’s still a dream of theirs, I want them to go for it. If it’s something they’ve decided against, well that’s fine too, but not because they didn’t think they were good enough to try.
Lastly, I want them to have some fun. I’m not worried about the academic piece or the concept of being responsible, turning work in, doing their best, blah, blah, blah. All three have good grades and do well with their classes.
I want all three of the kids to go on adventures, stay safe, while also exploring what’s out there.
I want them to be happy, healthy, caring, and ready to learn whatever life may teach them, regardless if it’s in a textbook or from an old man telling stories while he plays checkers in a Mom & Pop restaurant.
I’m a firm believer in the concept that the most valuable information you can learn, does not come from a book, but instead through those life experiences and absorbing knowledge from those around you.
If you think about it, it’s exciting to imagine the possibilities open to them, and what a little bit of guidance and nurturing can do.
The sky is the limit.
Goals for Today:
- Create 10 New Pinterest Pins
- Spend an Hour Writing
- Hang up My Hummingbird Feeders (One visited me today while I was writing this post. We had a conversation and I told her I would work on getting the food out.)