I’m 48 years old and I have run away from home.
I have a family. A very loving, kind, supportive family. I have kids, a job, hobbies – an overall fairly perfect life.
I still ran away – with zero hesitation.
I’m sitting Up North in a little lake cabin in the middle of nowhere, and I couldn’t be happier. There’s a peacefulness and simplicity that surrounds me daily and it refuels my soul. I smile more, breathe easier, and soak in every blissfully quiet moment.
I feel guilty, but I’m taking advantage of the opportunity to slip away from life and responsibilities and focus on me.
How is This Possible?
My primary profession in life, at least for a few more years, is teaching. (I still hesitate to say ‘author’ when describing what I do, although writing is the ultimate goal.) I enjoy the students and families, although the paperwork and meetings can be never-ending. When choosing this career pathway, I knew I would enjoy the summers and holidays off – and I have. Very much so.
I’m also at a point where my twin boys are going off to college and my teenage daughter is able to stay home alone or with her brothers during the day while her father is off at work. This is also our first ‘football free’ summer in 6 years. (If you are a parent of a child playing JV/Varsity football, you can understand and sympathize with the enormity of this statement in how it pertains to allowing for more free time.)
Another prominent factor in how I’m able to escape reality for a while is due to the generosity of my husband, Brian. He stays home and keeps everything running smoothly. He makes sure the pantry is stocked with food, sends out the bills so that the power isn’t shut off, and deals with those pesky life issues that arise occasionally – flat tire on Keegan’s car, transportation to a friend’s birthday party for Khloe, etc…
A combination of all of these factors together provides me an opportunity to escape real-life for days/weeks at a time and travel to our small, quaint, place in the Northern part of lower Michigan.
The Guilt is Still There
While I sit at my kitchen table, listening to the birds and watching the squirrels eat the peanuts I threw outside for them, I can’t help but wonder if everything is going smoothly at home. Does Keegan need me to go shopping with him for dorm essentials yet? Does Kaleb have enough snacks/sandwich supplies to make his lunches for work? Facetime and texting are both nice ways to keep in touch, but they can’t replace being there in-person.
There’s also my husband to think of. We talk multiple times a day, and flirt through the phone, but will my being away cause issues between us later on? Will he come to resent me for taking this time away from life’s responsibilities to heal some of the hurt that is still lingering ever since we buried Mom 5 1/2 years ago?
My family has been so supportive, and I hope I’m not making a mistake, but I’m going to take this next week Up North to focus on my writing and soak in the peace that comes with living alone.
Reality is Around the Corner
As I am typing out this blog post, today is Monday and my loud, rambunctious, loving family will be traveling and joining me at the cabin on Saturday. (It’s super small – did I mention that? We will be tripping over each other shortly.) We will have a few days of family time at the lake together and then we will all return to home, work, and responsibilities – myself included.
Before I know it, school will be starting and I’ll have the privilege of teaching some amazing kindergarten and first graders. Summer days at the lake will be a distant memory, one to be pulled out and remembered as I sit in meetings or at my desk, filling out paperwork.
For now, I still have five days until my family shows up. I have no schedule, no responsibilities, no worries. I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.
What should I do first?
Goals for Today:
- Trim the Tree by the Water
- Move Some Flowers in the Yard
- Go Fishing
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